What if My Child is Gay?


The WHAT IF MY CHILD IS GAY section was created to address initial questions surrounding the belief that your child might be gay and to help you understand your feelings.  We use the word “gay” to simplify the conversation but we are speaking about all gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender persons. Many young persons use the term “queer” as a generic way of saying they are part of the LGBTQ+ community.

In this course you will explore the following topics:
  • Parents and Their Feelings:  You are not alone.
  • Parental Role:  How to talk to your child.
  • Diversity Is Normal:  Sexuality is a spectrum.

Parents And Their Feelings

If you have a gay child, know that you are not alone.  In the United States there are approximately nine million gay people.  Three out of every one hundred people are gay. Eighteen million parents have a gay child.  So, what happens when a child comes out as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender?

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The Parental Role

When a child comes out, your response matters. What lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender children fear the most when they come out is to lose their family and friends. Coming out to a parent is a show of trust and a desire to remain in a relationship. Now more than ever, your child needs you.
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Diversity is Normal

Gender identity is a person’s internal sense of being a man, woman, neither or both. Sexual orientation is a term often used when referring to an individual’s emotional and/or sexual attraction to those of the same and/or another gender. Being gay is not a choice. Being gay is not a disorder.
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Summary and Questions

What was your first experience of learning about gay (GLBTQ+) people? What was your first experience of seeing or meeting a gay person? When were you first aware of feelings for or an attraction to another person, a first crush? Were you in control of these feelings and attractions?
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